ALL I CAN SAY IS OH LAWD!
by QueenieReads05
Summary: Bernie and Wanda Mac's life unexpectedly changes with one phone call that comes with long distance, and three kids tugging at the end of the line pulling Bernie nowhere but Chicago.
1. Chapter 1

**The Bernie Mac Show**

"**ALL I CAN SAY IS OH LAWD!"**

Wanda runs from the stove to the phone.

"Hello Wanda Mac speaking"(Wanda smiles)

"Um hi Wanda this is Stacey is Bernie there?"

"Yeah sure let me get him"( Wanda sets the phone aside)

"Bernie Stacey's on the phone!"

"Whooooooo?" (Bernie struggles to push while sitting on the toilet)

"It's Stacey!"

"I'm on the toilet can you bring it to me?"

(Wanda walks down the hall and opens the bathroom door)

"Whoooh Bernie here!", Wanda gives Bernie the phone.

(Bernie laughs while taking the phone)

"What your shit smell like flowers?"

"Hello"

" Hi Bernie how you doing?"

"I'm doing good living day by day."

"Well that's good."

" How you been doing?"

"I would say I'm doing good ….but I would be lying."

"What's wrong Stace?"

"I've been struggling and the kids don't have what they need it's been hard."

"Stacey you know I don't have a problem with sending you money."

"No you don't understand I'm not getting any child support; I'm not with Bryana's father anymore, and I don't have help."

"Stacey I don't think you heard me"( Bernie wipes sweat off of his forehead and flushes the toilet)

"I heard you Bernie, but I need more than money...I...I need you to help me."

"Help you ?"(Bernie Glares)

"I need you to take the kids."

"Stacey has it ever dawned on you that I don't have kids"

"It's never to late Bernie; they want to know their uncle."

"What Imma do with some kids?"

"You can do more than I can do for them.", Stacey says with an sincere tone.

" Are you listening to yourself Stacey?"

"Yes"

"I'm no good for kids Stace", Bernie admits

"Bernie if you don't get them the state will and I don't want to have to do that."

"Stace you bet not do that to them kids..what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't think I'm meant to be a mother Bernie."

"What...Stace!..you can do this I know you can." ( Bernie mopes)

"No I can't Bernie are you getting them or not? I have their bags packed either way they are going somewhere."

"No! Don't let them leave I'm coming."( Bernie hangs up the phone)

(Bernie goes to his den)

"America!..Lawd why...never in my life would I have thought I'd be raising somebody's kids! I thought the only place I'd see it was on tv."

( Bernie Looks at the camera) "This shit done got real...cut the camera off!"(Bernie storms out)

"Waaaaaanda" (Bernie mopes)

"What...What's wrong? Bernie here sit down."(Wanda moves her pots in the kitchen and moves a chair beside her)

"Wanda you ain't gonna believe this"

"What?"

"Stacey...ooooowh lawd have mercy...Stacey...ooowh lawd." (Bernie puts his head down on the counter)

"Bernie what happened to Stacey?"( Wanda panics)

"She don't want her kids Wanda."( Bernie looks up at Wanda)

"Wait I'm not understanding you...she said she did not want her kids? That was her exact words?"(Wanda looks with disgust)

"Yes Wanda" (Bernie gets annoyed)

"Well Bernie don't get mad at me because you stuck with some kids."( Wanda pushes her neck back)

"Believe me I tried convincing her that she could raise them kids, and you know what her trifflent ass said?"

"What"( Wanda looks with curiosity)

"She said there bags are packed either way their going somewhere!"

"Bernie I know that's your sister but I don't liiiike herrrr! And who does that to their own kids?"

(Wanda paces back and forth)

"Go and get them babies ASAP; I will get everything settled by the time you come back honey." (Wanda kisses Bernie) "Don't worry I know we can do this together ok?"

"Thanks baby"( Bernie kisses Wanda)


	2. Chapter 2

The Bernie Mac Show

(Bernie looks out the window as he sits on the plane, and he thinks to himself)

"Bernie, Wanda says abruptly.

Bernie shakes,"huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm just trying to get my thoughts together"

"Okay baby," Wanda rubs his arm.

Wanda decided to go with Bernie since she had seen how Bernie was reacting to things; she came for moral support.

"You know Aunt Liva is going to be happy to see you," Wanda smiles trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah," Bernie starts to smile.

(They sit in silence for a couple of minutes)

"When I was little she use to give me these big wet sloppy kisses. One day it was snowing five below zeeeero; she gave me a kiss and I went out to get on the bus. I almost froze my damn face oooofff...hell she still gives me them wet kisses". Bernie and Wanda laugh.

"And you know what Wanda?"

"What?"

"She is an awesome woman. She's like a mother to me; she made sure I had everything growing up. Right after my mom died she took care of my siblings and me; she didn't even stop and think how it would affect her life. She just did...it.

(Bernie face went blank)

"I can't believe myself! How damn selfish can I be! Aunt Liva did it for me so I can do it for them," Bernie says stoutly.

"Aunt Liva helped raise a wonderful man, and you're grateful and you acknowledged that. Now you have to show it by doing just that and being the best man you can be". Wanda removes her hand from Bernie's hand.

Bernie: "AMERICA! there is nothing that can stop me now; I can do this I'm a big black strong Maaan," Bernie grins and walks off singing, "I'm a big black STROOONG Man! A big ole black STROONG man!" Moving his hips from side to side.

"Besides you have to get over it because we're here," Wanda looks Bernie up and down.

Bernie looks out the window and whispers. "Sweet home Chicago" and smiles.

"Alright baby lets enjoy Chicago while we can", Bernie jumps up out of his seat, and walks towards the nearest exit.

…...

Bernie and Wanda pull up to Aunt Liva's house; Aunt Liva was outside in her garden with Baby girl.

"Bernie!" Aunt Liva struggles to get up from her knees. Bernie helps her.

(Baby girl runs around back with the other kids)

Aunt Liva wipes the dirt from her hands onto her gardening apron.

"Give me some of those sweet cheeks!" Aunt Liva grabs Bernies face and gives him a big wet kiss. Bernie gives her a hug.

"Hey baby I didn't know you were comin to town or I woulda cooked you somethin up!"

"Aunt Liva you don't have to do that... even though I would like that very muuuuuch," Bernie smiles. very hard with his neck poked out like he use to when he was a child.

"How can I resist that boy come in and sat down"

Wanda grabs a napkin out of her purse and wipes the wet kiss off of Bernie's cheek. "It looks like someone sprayed you with a hose," Wanda Whispers.

"I told you" Bernie smirks.

Wanda walks inside Bernie follows her.

"Awwwh baby she's still as pretty as the day you married her", Aunt Liva says while walking very quickly to the kitchen.

"Thank you" Wanda says as she gives Aunt Liva a hug.

"Your still looking beautiful as usual" Wanda smiles

"Oh baby I'm a mess with all this dirt on me yalls going to have to excuse me"

"Your fine," Bernie and Wanda reply.

Aunt Liva takes her gardening apron off and washes her hands in the kitchen sink.

"Bernie yall make yourselves comfortable, and get some of those collard greens and cornbread while I get cleaned up," Aunt Liva waddles down the hall.

"Mmmh baby hand me that hot sauce" Wanda says without looking up from her plate.

Bernie looks at Wanda smiling from ear to ear, "I never seen you eat like that, let alone say hand me that hot sauuuce. You usually say can you please hand me the condiments huuun thank you," Bernie says in a high squeaky voice.

"I knew you had a little ghetto in you"

"Bernie"...Wanda stops eating and gives him the stare from the side of her eye, and puts her hand out. She snatches the hot sauce from Bernie, and smiles with a blush and mumbles. "I did not say it like that".

"Okay, yeeeeah baby you ain't nevah tasted shit like that in yo life!"

"Bernie keep it down Aunt Liva might hear you," Wanda whispers looking behind her.

"She ain't hear me"

"Bernard McCullough I heard you, and bet watch yo mouth in my house!"

"Yes mam" Bernie smirks with embarrassment.

Aunt Liva walks in the kitchen. "Yall had enough to eat?"

"Yes mam"

"Yes mam"

"Thank you Aunt Liva it was delicious!" Wanda wipes her mouth in a very manner-fully way.

"It was bangin!" Bernie smiles.

"I don't think you have to even wash Wanda's plate; she used that cornbread as a sponge and got all that collard green juice off that plate" Bernie started laughing.

"Ha ha ha Bernie very funny," Wanda stares at Bernie with a faint glare.

"You know my mom makes pretty good greens she (Bernie cuts Wanda off)

"Now don't you go lying, you know yo mama has difficulties in the kitchen"

"Are you saying my mom can't cook; she can cook I don't know what you're talking about Bernie," Wanda says trying to convince herself.

"Then why did you eat your plate like that" Bernie smiles deviously.

"Shut up Bernie! You don't know when to stop"

"Alright yall stop that," Aunt Liva chuckles.

(The sound of children screaming screeched in the backyard)

"The kids are here?" Bernie asks

"Yes baby there in the back playing"

"Wait I'm confused Stacey said the kids would be at her house"

"They are here every day from sun up to sun down baby they live here"

"When did this happen? Bernie asks

"Let me see Vanessa was about three years old and Stacey told me she couldn't raise a child because she wasn't ready. Than the second one came; she told me Jordan was sick and he had asthma. She said she needed my help and she moved in. I knew that wouldn't last too long because she left me with the first baby. Than Bryana came and she said she couldn't raise another daughter. I've heard every excuse in the book by now," Aunt Liva shakes her head.

"Why didn't you call me or let me know? I could have helped you," Bernie inquires

"Bernie you came so far and I wasn't going to let this bring me down or anybody else; I love these babies and I'm only doing what I do best taking care of folks."

"But Aunt Liva don't you think this is the time you should be relaxing and enjoying yourself? I just think you should have told me?"

"I now baby and I'm sorry Stacey didn't want anyone to know," Aunt Liva whispers.

"Well Stacey sure is good with sharing secrets; so I'm guessing you didn't know that Stacey called me and asked me to take the kids"

"What!" Aunt Liva shouts.

"Yup she said the state will if you don't so she basically lied to get me over here"

"You know they mama ain't never been stable since you know…she was caught stabbing that man she was with," Aunt Liva says throwing her arms back and forth.

Bernie: "I know; he was beating on her"

Aunt liva: "and she still wit the man; she said he forgave her. I told her ain't no man gonna forgive you for what you did! You need to leave him before he get you back for what you did! Bernie that man is crazy; she done played with his emotions to many times."

Bernie: "that's Vanessa and Jordans dad isn't it?"

Aunt Liva: "Mhmmm he just don't but know it Bryana ain't his," Aunt Liva whispers.


End file.
